Made to Crave

My friend Karen and I have struggled with weight a long time together. We have talked about it, planned together, fallen together, and even had successes together. Earlier this year we have had successes, and when I had surgery in February she brought me this book. It looked interesting, but until I opened the cover I had no idea the power it contained to change my life. Yes, it is about weight loss, but the concepts within can be applied to so many areas in life.

Is there something you run to instead of God that has a strong-hold in your life? For me it's 100% food. I love it. It's my hobby. It's my celebration of life. It's my friend when I've had a hard day. But, unfortunately, I love food too much. It doesn't love me back... I can tell by the number on the scale and the size of my jeans. I have loved food my entire life and have always been "chubby".

I have been doing pretty well, not really well, but pretty well on the "diet" that I am on. But honestly, I am terrified that the pounds will come back. I have been slipping lately allowing myself to eat a little more freely. But I got scared last night when I pigged out....the old Jenny was rearing her head. Bryan was gone, the movie was in, popcorn and chocolate chips flowed freely with the girls, and my spanikopita in the toaster smelled good. I was going to only eat half of what I made, but then....you know.

I have been reading a chapter or two every few days of this book and I am inspired by her, but until this morning I thought she may be a little radical in cutting out so much. But, I relate to her and the hold food has in her life. Today I read (about 3/4 of the way through) that it's truly only for a season to not eat certain things until she has grown strong enough to not only reach her goal weight but also have self-control. Self-Control. That is something I want and can gain through drawing closer to God in the times I need Him most. I have the power over the chips and salsa - they don't have power over me. And, I do believe that I was made to be more than this.

I am starting anew (AGAIN!), and feeling strengthened and ready to go. I highly recommend this book if you struggle with weight or any other "idol" in your life that you can't lay down. It's impossible to fight cravings without the power of God, and this book is a wonderful tool to help get you where you want to go!

The Gifts We Give Our Kids

(Except the last paragraph, this is an article from a school newsletter I wrote last month)

Have you ever read the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman? It’s a great book for figuring out how different people show and receive love. My primary love language? Gifts! I love to give them, and I admit, I love to receive them, too. Even a pack of my favorite gum or a pair of fluffy socks can make me happy the rest of the day if given to me out of love.


I realized that I was giving my kids too many gifts as a result of my love language. We’re at the mall? The Dollar Store? Target? I see a sale on something they’d love and I’d get it for them. But I realized that they were expecting things more often and our house was piling up with more stuff. I decided that my giving was having a negative effect on their wants, the clutter, and our wallet (even dollar store purchases add up!) So, it was time to redirect.

Last year my husband and I decided to buy almost nothing for the kids that wasn’t necessary. They could earn money to buy things they wanted, and what a difference in what they really wanted when it was their own money! It was a hard change for us at first, but what got me through was thinking about the bigger gifts I was giving my kids:

1. A Godly Home

2. A Loving Family

3. A Solid Foundation

Where does this foundation come from? I believe a big part of that is having them at Ygnacio Valley Christian School. From the moment I drop my kids off and wave at the Principal, Mr. Johnson, as he greets them (how many principals do that every day??), to the moment I wave at Mr. Johnson and pick them up – I know that they are growing academically, socially, and spiritually. They are learning not only the academics of what they need to get to the next level, but they are challenged and loved by these teachers who are certainly not there to make their millions! The staff is answering a call of God on their lives to touch our children deeper than they would be touched just about anywhere else. It's amazing to sit down at a parent/teacher conference and begin with prayer. It's also amazing to have a kindergarten teacher who can identify spiritual gifts in her students and encourage the parents to develop these gifts. The kids are learning what it means to have character, make the right choices, and to be a friend. Having them there is a sacrifice for us, but what an exchange. What they are gaining is priceless in light of eternity and I am grateful to give them this gift.

If you are considering a private school or not, seek God and His will for your kids. I know that not every child can go and that there are great public schools, too. If you are at a position in life where you are seeking what path God would have you choose - I want to encourage you to carefully interview lots of parents who have been there before and see what their opinions are. You can even email me and I'd love to share our process of decision making and more reasons why we chose what we did. Ultimately, though, the decision must be between you, your spouse (if you are married), and God. In His will your children will flourish and do great where ever God plants them! The greatest gift you can give is keeping them in God's loving care.

2011

In our MOPS group several years ago we asked the mentors questions.... their biggest thrills of motherhood, their biggest regrets. What they wished they had done, what they felt they did right. A repeated theme was that time goes so fast - they all had wished they'd slowed down more and played with their kids. They all wished that they had "stopped to smell the roses" more. This was from eight women with anywhere from one to four grown kids. They all felt this way. Their statements made sense to me, but with two toddlers at the time I just wanted a break.

Now, I really want to heed their special advice and learn from them. As I look back and see that my "babies" are now 10, 8 and 4, I see that time does go by so very fast. How can that little baby boy I held be 10? I am more than half way done "mothering" him in a way. In ten years from now he'll be a man making his own choices and finding his way in life. When I think back to when my kids were small I see that the days were slow, but the years went by fast.

This year holds some scary things for the E family and it's a time to stretch our faith and depend on God. In February I am going in for a breast reduction surgery. (Ouch!) In June Nate will have his leg lengthening surgery. He'll have three months recovery with no weight on that leg and me turning pins to stretch the bone. (Ouch!) Bryan's contract job will end and we are hoping and praying that another job comes along. (Ouch!) But, we know that we are in the palm of God's hands. He will not leave us. Despite these things which all can turn into great changes for all of us, I want to stop and enjoy my time with these kids. Watch them more, listen more, love them even more. Instead of being scared, I want to choose to have faith that our Father has good planned for us. I want to enjoy life and live in faith. This is the only place where there truly is peace and joy to it's fullest.

So whatever your 2011 holds, may it be blessed and full of wonderful gifts from God! May we all slow down - even just a bit - and smell the roses more.

Mighty Leaf Tea Mighty Leaf Variety, Whole Leaf Pouches, 1.36-Ounces, 15-Count (Pack of 3)

Getting Organized

In today’s society we are overwhelmed and rushing from one thing to the next. We live in a time when you almost have to plan everything to get anything done. Many families are under so much pressure – and granted, there are many fun and good activities filling our lives – but when our activities are robbing us of joy, contentment, and a sense that we have a handle on our primary responsibilities, then something must change. A key to truly living and not just surviving is organization.


Let me place a little disclaimer here – I am not a truly organized person by nature. I am a little more on the artsy side and would rather take life one day at a time and cross each bridge as I approach it. But living life in this manner with kids, church, activities, and a home to maintain left me and my whole family a little frantic and unstable.

There are some things I have discovered along the way that have smoothed out some of the wrinkles and made life richer for the E’s. I’d love to share these things with you and I hope you can find something that can help your own family!

Setting Goals For Your Family
Running a household and home is much like running a business (there is my business background peeking in.) A business’ goal is to find a niche, satisfy a need, and turn a profit. These goals are met through research, budgeting, and setting goals. It’s important to ask yourself, “What’s really important to my family?” What is important to you?

Bryan and I sat down to determine what our goals were for our family. We discovered that our number one priority as a family is God. After that it’s our relationships with each other and friends, education for the kids, a clean house (for my slightly OCD husband), and healthy meals for family dinner time. We decided to prioritize and organize ourselves in order to reach these goals.

Set up Your Calendar and To-Do Lists Around the Goals
It’s important to set up a schedule to reach the goals. The following is a list of tasks that we put in place to keep us going. They are not always met, and we do re-evaluate and change them from time to time as our family grows.

Family meetings- monthly
*Is everyone moving most of the time in the right direction toward the goals?
*Evaluation behavior, what needs to be fixed, good things done, everyone can have their chance to voice what they are thinking about
Family Devotionals- weekly (in addition to nightly praying)
*Honeywell Bible – short lesson, prayer for week ahead
Homework- daily or as needed
*Depends on schedule with other activities, but must be done before bathing
Activities- depending on season
*Two activities at most per child – music lessons, little league, gymnastics, etc.
Chore evaluation- weekly- Saturdays (on chart) Paid accordingly

In order to hit my own targets, I set up my calendar at the beginning of each month and make a list of things that need to be done.  I also sit down on Sunday nights to update and review the calendar for the week to pace out what needs to be done. Bryan sets up our master family calendar, too, so we can all see what’s on each other’s radar. I highly recommend this on a large calendar where everyone in the family can see it. We hang a large dry-erase calendar inside our pantry door so we can all check it easily. I really helps to answer many questions on meetings, rehersals, practices, etc. Each family member has a different color ink to help the kids see what is their activity. (Please see the end of this post for some calendar links.)

I also have set up a weekly routine that I keep in order to schedule and plan accordingly. Sometimes, of course, appointments, friends, or Target happen that don’t fall according to my plan, so I move things around as needed. This is not in concrete for me, but I do my best to keep it without it keeping me…

Daily schedule for mom
Monday- Clean house, clean linens, do as much laundry as possible
Tuesday – Finish laundry, run errands, grocery shop, pay bills
Wednesday – Correspondence with friends, house project
Thursday – Bible study, dump garbages
Friday – laundry and something fun – craft, walk, meet with a friend
Saturday – whatever
Sunday – church, plan out week, plan meals

I hope you can use some of what I’ve learned to help you get more organized. Organization isn't fun, but it pays off in a big way.  Please share any tips that you have, too!


Board Dudes 18"x22" Home Décor Magnetic Dry Erase Calendar (84012UA-4)
Cra-Z-Art 3-in-1 Combo Board (Dry Erase, Calendar and Cork) Contemporary Sleek Silver Aluminum Frame with Marker and Two Magnets, 17 x 23 Inches (12195)
Cra-Z-Art Dry Erase Calendar Board, Contemporary Basic White Plastic Frame, with Marker and Two Magnets, 17 x 23 Inches (12174)
Board Dudes Unframed Magnetic Calendar, Magnetic Dry Erase Board, 14 x 14 Inches (13850UA-4)

Bitterness

My daughter has brought so much healing into my life. God has given me a sweet balm to quench the bitterness that has consumed my soul for far too long.

For almost fourteen years I was angry at God; serving Him begrudgingly because I knew I had no where else to turn. I had failed at so many things and needed even a small victory to get me through each day.

I didn't know how bad off I was until God started to heal me of my anger. With anger came pessimism, self pity, being judgmental, self loathing, depression and self righteousness... a dangerous combination. I was scared to breathe for fear that pain would consume me or the fragile balance of sanity I was teetering on would shatter. Bitterness brought me into a depth of depression where I would weep in the corner of my dark, locked bathroom and couldn't emerge until my husband would engulf me with his arms and cry with me. I couldn't leave the house. I couldn't talk to anyone; I wasn't strong enough to hold the mask up to hide who I really was.

I'm not really sure what changed this; part of me thinks it was when I determined not to let my circumstances dictate who I was and therefore God allowed me to get pregnant. I decided that I would love and serve God for who He is, not for what I did or did not receive. Another part of me thinks that with my pregnancy I had a reason to believe and hope again. Either way, it doesn't really matter. I am healed of depression. I am healed of bitterness. I am still trying to chisel down the walls around my soul to let God fully in. But its a start.

It's the Little Things

For the past three days I've been watching a dove and her mate build a nest just outside my window. She sits and eagerly awaits for him to retrieve twigs and branches for their little nest that is quickly growing in weaves and tangles. I watch her dwell in her nest and she observes me living in mine.

Right now the bills are piling up as our car has died for the third time in a month. Insurance is due. We trekked to the grocery store this morning for our weekly hunting and gathering. We just refinanced our home. And I feel terribly guilty for purchasing $6.99 lip gloss last night. I hate financial issues!

So I glance out the window and watch the dove preparing for her future. The lavender bushes in our yard sway to the gentle nudges of the summer breeze. Our peaches are blushing, painted by the sun's warming rays. Right now I am savoring the simple things. When we get too comfortable, sometimes God needs to give us a wake up call to the things that are most important.

(I just took these pictures in my yard. What a pretty day!)

Being Content

I'm finally content. As I sit at my desk today deciding what I should write about I realized this colossal fact: I am finally content. My surroundings haven't changed; it's what God has done in my heart.

I honestly cannot remember a time in my life where I was happy being right where I was. I wanted a better job. I wanted to look better. I wanted a bigger house. I wanted more money. Okay, so those are things I still want (plus no pain, another child, a better city to live in...). But I realized that if the blessings I have now were the only ones that God so deems to give me, I would be grateful.

There's something about waiting and fighting for the things you want that makes you appreciate the reward. I prayed for Vince for two years before we ever went out on our first date. I prayed for a house for two years and the down payment came from my car accident insurance money (so it was definitely bought with my blood, sweat and tears.) I prayed for Elliana for six years before God ever put her in my womb. And there are several people who traveled and fought along side me when I no longer had the strength or faith to keep on going. I am blessed.

Every night I pray for my daughter and the traits that I want her to have. I realized that the only way for her to develop into a woman of God is for me to pattern what that should look like. Boy, did that convict me! The bumps and bruises of life have caused me to be a cynic. Time and motherhood have caused me to re-evaluate who I am and who I want to be. My first step is towards gratefulness.

Wrestling With God

I wrestled with God for about seven years. I grunted with exertion, wept in pain and tried my best at manipulation to somehow get an answer from Him. I clung to Him in fear, I yelled in frustration. I thought that the more I struggled, the closer I would be to finding the answers. I had a glimpse into what Jacob went through when he wrestled with God, but I already had His blessings; I wanted to know the answer to a question that had plagued me for years.

On a cool September evening I got into a car accident. I wasn’t wearing a seat belt and I scalped myself on the car dashboard; it peeled back like a too ripe peach. I was sitting in the back middle seat of a Ford Bronco when our driver turned back to look at the three of us joking in the passenger seats. Unfortunately, the cars in front of us stopped and we didn’t. We hit two cars from behind going 40 miles an hour. I flew like a rag doll. I didn’t realize at first what had happened. Blood was splattered across the front seat. I anxiously looked around to find who was bleeding, and then I saw the look on my friend’s face: I must have been quite a sight. I lifted my hand to touch the top of my head and all I felt was a gooey mass of flesh. The ambulance arrived shortly after and called my parents to have them meet me at the hospital.
Twenty-two staples and ten stitches later, I was released from the hospital with a massive headache. That was the easy part. The hard part came when I found myself alone with God and the staple gun that the doctor gave me as a souvenir.

I looked a mess for the week after as blood crusted my hair and I could barely move. I couldn’t wash my hair for a week because they didn’t want the wound to get wet. The smell started to get rancid and my sister and I would pick out chunks of dried blood as we watched television. I would try to comb out the crusted blood without pulling on the scar or loosening a staple. I felt like the bride of Frankenstein. Even though physically I was wretched, it was my soul that felt shattered. I was a good Christian girl. I went on seven mission trips. I went to church three times a week! Didn’t God know that I already loved Him? Didn’t He know that I was serving Him? Why would He let this happen to me?

I fumbled over these questions and begged Him for answers. I would go to church, paste on a smile, and praise him with my lips. People would come up to me and say “Put it in God’s hands. He has a purpose,” or quote Romans 8:28 (NIV) “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” My head knew these things so well. My soul wanted to cry out from pain and disbelief. I didn’t want to turn my back on Him, but I wanted to know why. How could my Father allow this?

I had to quit college and move back home to complete the healing process. All of my hopes and dreams had to be put on hold and I didn’t know if I would be able to pick up the pieces.
Shortly after I moved home, I received the news from my MRI: I had a brain tumor in my pituitary gland. The pituitary gland is the hormone center of the brain and quite a scary place to have a brain tumor (but then again, any place is scary to have a brain tumor.) I pictured all these horrid hormone changes going wrong: lactating breasts, a chest hairier than a Greek man, my voice sounding strangely like my grandfather’s… I was dreading the future and I couldn’t bear to live in the present. I wanted to escape the prison that had become my life.

People started smiling at me and said “Well, there’s God’s purpose. You wouldn’t have found your tumor if you didn’t have your car accident.” That didn’t make me feel better. There shouldn’t be a tumor there in the first place! My life had been so wonderful. It wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t realize how good I had it. Now there was this impending journey before me that I didn’t want to face; I didn’t even know if I had the strength to go on. But I did go on with my life; there was no other choice.

It’s been fourteen years now and I still don’t have any answers. I did go through several phases on this journey, though. I went through the “if I smile and pretend life is good, I’ll be okay” phase. I couldn’t keep that up for too long. Next I went through the “What did I do wrong?” phase. This one lasted about six and a half years. I searched and searched for sin in my life. Maybe I shouldn’t have been out with non-Christian friends (even though we were just going shopping). I thought I didn’t do enough work to help save the lost. I thought I missed out on His will. The list was endless. My third phase was manipulation. I created a plethora of spiritual formulas to get the answers I needed and the healing I desperately desired. Prayer plus faith equals answers. No, that didn’t work. Patience plus repentance equals answers. Okay, how about thanking God for my healing before he does it and then I’ll get the answers? These are all great things, but God doesn’t work like this. I can’t trick Him or manipulate Him to get my way. He does things in His own time.

Along this path a lot of great things have happened, too. I was determined to finish college and graduated with my degree in history and a credential in secondary education. God brought me a husband who is a nurse and helps me with my physical pain (and he’s really cute too!) I got to see my nieces enter this world and I fell head over heels in love with my nephew. I struggled six years with infertility and how have a miracle baby. If God took me to heaven early, I wouldn’t have experienced these amazing events. God spared my life so I could live through this immense joy. The love that I have far surpasses the pain that I feel each day. God spared my life that painful day because He planned an awesome future for me.

It hasn’t been easy, though. Each step along this journey and each move in this wrestling match has been painfully slow. Through my doubts, my pouting, and my games, He is still holding me close. God disabled Jacob’s hip during their wrestling match so that Jacob could no longer walk in his own strength. He had to rely entirely on God. No one comes away from wrestling with God the same. I’m realizing that to get through the pain, I have to rely solely on God. I haven’t found a medicine or treatment that can take away my physical pain, but I know God will not let me face this journey alone. He is there for every time I cry in frustration in my bed at night. He is there when I yell in anger at Him because I face this gnawing pain without relief. He is there for me.

I still want to know why this happened and maybe I’ll never know. My head has healed, but I still experience pain daily and there is a scar. My soul has healed, but I still experience pain and there is a scar. The good part is that my scars are beautiful. They are a reminder of God’s faithfulness.

Child of God

I’m not one to gush. I thought babies were cute… from a distance (and the farther the better.) I thought cartoons were mind numbing. Kid songs were the ultimate punishment. Then my sister had three kids. I gushed. I memorized the television schedule on the Disney Channel and Nick Jr. I danced to kid music like I had never danced before. A sickening and beautiful transformation took place in me and through that experience, God has opened my eyes.

When I looked at those amazing people who walked like they had a pillow between their legs, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with joy. When they first learned to walk, I wanted to share their tentative steps with the world like they were the first children to make these colossal strides. Their giggles and yelps of delight were (and are) the most musical and carefree sounds. And that’s how God thinks of you and me.

I’ve heard probably a million times that I am a child of God; that God is a loving father. To any Christian this common knowledge is just like knowing that gravity exists or that water is made up of H20. Sometimes when we look at the most common, basic things, it’s there that we find the most amazing.

When I take my first steps at a new job, God is cheering me on. When I get a part in the church play, God is the proud father in the audience who whispers “That’s my kid.” When I stumble and scrape my ego, He picks me up, brushes off the shame, and holds my hand as we continue the journey.

Being a child of God, I am also realizing that it’s not just one sided; as a child of the Master, I have some serious obligations, too. When a baby says “dada” we ooh and aah. If a normal, healthy teenager said it, it would be pathetic. The same thing goes with our spiritual life. When we are baby Christians, it’s okay to crawl through the Word of God and stumble through our prayers. As we grow and spend time with God, we have to act like a mature Christian. As our father, God doesn’t want to spoon feed us forever.

As I continue in life, I also notice a change in the relationship between myself and my parents. Before I depended on them to change my diaper, get me the things I wanted, and I would get mad when I didn’t get my way. Now our relationship has taken on an amazing turn; my parents are now my friends. I am not just taking and wanting, I am also giving back. I think as a Christian, it is much the same way with God. As I grow in my faith and love for Him, its not about “give me this” or “I want that.” It’s becoming “What can I do for you, God?” “Where do you want me to go?” God has become my friend and my confidant and not the spiritual slot machine that so many make Him out to be. I want God to know that He can count on me and that I will be faithful.

Watching the kids around me (and now my own sweet daughter), I am also learning again what it is like to remain a child in the important ways. I used to cut and tape pictures to make books of my nephew’s favorite things in life: food, toys, and characters that I found in the Sunday advertising section of the newspaper. He would take it everywhere with him. God makes us sunsets and mountains out of his immense color pallet. He created birds to serenade us with unique melodies. The ocean roars to show us His power. The breeze dances to show us his tenderness. God creates gorgeous miracles daily for our enjoyment, and as I get older, sometimes I forget to see with child-like awe. Do you remember the first time you went to the zoo or aquarium? How could there be so many different animals? Being children of God means that our daddy made all of this for us, His children. Sometimes I forget to look. I see, but I don’t always look.

Another thing about being a child of God is that I inherit some of his qualities. I am made in his glorious image. He gave me a heart to love and feel and to share. He gave me a mind to ponder, to learn and to grow. He gave me hands to create, to lift up, to offer. He gave me so much, all I can do is give it back to Him.

The Extra Mile

I set up this blog weeks ago with my mind brimming with things to write about. I occasionally teach at women's retreats and at conferences on parenting, cooking, and organizing, and after leading a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, I realized that some of the ideas I have gathered and come up with are things that others may find helpful in their own homes.

But, as I sat down tonight for my first posting, I realize that before I get into all the real nitty-gritty things, there is a valuable lesson I think that all women can benefit from. It's a lesson as old as time, but unfortunately I think it is losing its power and is fading away. Let me explain.

I have a friend named Diane. I also call her my sugar mama as a joke, but I highly recommend that every woman find a person like Diane. She is almost 20 years my senior, and she is an amazing woman. The first time I met Diane I was at church helping in the kitchen at a women's tea. There she was wearing an apron just like my Japanese grandmother had worn. It brought back memories for me in a flash! "You look just like my Grandma!" I exclaimed. The poor woman looked a little horrified as my compliment fell as an insult on her ears. She then laughed and introduced herself as I put my foot in my mouth.

Over time Diane and I talked more and more. She kind of adopted me and took me under her wing. I do have a mom whom I am very close to, and I have two sisters and friends, but my relationship with Diane is different. She is my mentor. She is a woman who babysits for me (even when I was in labor in the middle of the night!), she takes me out to fun restaurants and for pedicures, she helps pay for my retreats, throws me parties, and most importantly, lends me an open ear and heart whenever I need her. She prays for me and offers Godly wisdom that I so cherish. This list could go on and on! Diane pours into my life a special friendship that I never knew could exist.

Long ago the older women would teach the next generation, and that generation would pour into the next, and so on. What has happened to our society where it's a shame to grow older and be dismissed? There are women out there with a wealth of information that can help us and save us from mistakes. Many moms have walked our path before and have much to offer. In MOPS and now in the new mom's group I belong to, I love to have question and answer time with the mentors. My favorite things to know are their greatest regrets as a mom, what their favorite memories were, what they would do differently if they could do it all again.... these are questions that can change our paths as mothers today.

It has been a sort of mission of mine to find women of whom I can glean information. My son was born with a birth defect. I have found a good friend in Sonnie who tells people that what we have in common is "broken" babies. Her daughter passed away 13 years ago, but she is someone I can lean on when the stress of it overcomes me. My friend Judy has taught cooking for years both in high schools and in college. She is a great resource for not only recipes and cooking for large events, but how to build memories with food with my kids. Then there is Marci. She is an amazing leader of the women's ministries department of our church. I can go to her for advice on starting new projects, managing difficult people or situations, and for serious prayer. I can go on - Jackie who raised four kids and leads the nursery, Deb who has written published books and is an incredible grandmother, Sondra who is a nurse and an amazing mother... all of these women are older than me but they stop and are willing to teach me things when I ask. I am so thankful for this bank God has laid before me! I have gathered these relationships over years of going to bible studies, joining book clubs, volunteering where needed. I have found quality women when I make the effort to get out there and when I pray for God to lead me to them.

Then there is Diane. She has taught me so very much! She is the master of going the extra mile not only for me, but for every person that she loves. She has taught me that survival is not okay - that truly living and enjoying life is where it's at. She loves God and feels loved by God and it shows in her face and all that she does. She doesn't just invite people over for lunch - she makes a gorgeous meal with flowers and favors and music... she makes all around her feel like they are truly special. This is what she has taught me, and I hope that one day when my kids are grown like hers, that I will take the time and effort to pour into another mom's life who is still in the throes of raising her kids as she has in mine. I would like to pay it forward.