2011

In our MOPS group several years ago we asked the mentors questions.... their biggest thrills of motherhood, their biggest regrets. What they wished they had done, what they felt they did right. A repeated theme was that time goes so fast - they all had wished they'd slowed down more and played with their kids. They all wished that they had "stopped to smell the roses" more. This was from eight women with anywhere from one to four grown kids. They all felt this way. Their statements made sense to me, but with two toddlers at the time I just wanted a break.

Now, I really want to heed their special advice and learn from them. As I look back and see that my "babies" are now 10, 8 and 4, I see that time does go by so very fast. How can that little baby boy I held be 10? I am more than half way done "mothering" him in a way. In ten years from now he'll be a man making his own choices and finding his way in life. When I think back to when my kids were small I see that the days were slow, but the years went by fast.

This year holds some scary things for the E family and it's a time to stretch our faith and depend on God. In February I am going in for a breast reduction surgery. (Ouch!) In June Nate will have his leg lengthening surgery. He'll have three months recovery with no weight on that leg and me turning pins to stretch the bone. (Ouch!) Bryan's contract job will end and we are hoping and praying that another job comes along. (Ouch!) But, we know that we are in the palm of God's hands. He will not leave us. Despite these things which all can turn into great changes for all of us, I want to stop and enjoy my time with these kids. Watch them more, listen more, love them even more. Instead of being scared, I want to choose to have faith that our Father has good planned for us. I want to enjoy life and live in faith. This is the only place where there truly is peace and joy to it's fullest.

So whatever your 2011 holds, may it be blessed and full of wonderful gifts from God! May we all slow down - even just a bit - and smell the roses more.

Mighty Leaf Tea Mighty Leaf Variety, Whole Leaf Pouches, 1.36-Ounces, 15-Count (Pack of 3)

What I'm Not Grateful For

As Thanksgiving approaches, these are the things I am NOT grateful for:

1) The huge zit on the bridge of my nose that looks like a third eye.

2) The grey hairs I had to dye tonight.

3) The black marks that stained my forehead from the hair dye.

4) My cold that has sapped my strength. How can a nose be stuffed up and running like a faucet at the same time?

What I am thankful for: That all these problems are completely petty.

My Little Miracle

September was Missions Month at church and it was amazing. Living in this bubble of being a stay at home mom can be mind numbing at times and a little bit isolating. The missionaries who came to speak at church gave me a shot of reality and a dose of compassion that I sorely needed.

Every Sunday during Missions Month a pastor asks for a Faith Promise from each family so that the church can budget what to give to the missionaries on the field. I strongly felt like God said that we needed to give $50 a month to this cause. When I mentioned this to my husband, he hesitated and commented that things were a bit too tight to commit that amount. I agreed and then dropped the subject. But when God speaks, its pretty scary not to follow through. So after several weeks of prayer I carefully brought up the subject again. To my surprise, Vince filled out a Faith Promise card and already paid the current month's $50.

Now here is the other cool part: three months ago I applied for a job to write for a blog. I was contacted the week Vince submitted the commitment card and now we have more than enough to cover our Faith Promise. Lesson reiterated: God ALWAYS comes through. It's like when Peter walked on water; you first have to step out of the boat.

Live Without Fear

I live in fear much of the time. I've built a wall around myself to block out fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of the unknown. Don't even get me started on my fear of strangers and fear of another car accident. I'm also terrified that someone I love will get seriously injured or worse.

I had to really think about my fears two days ago when a woman at my husband's work was severely injured. Vince is a nurse at the county jail and an inmate attacked one of my husband's co-workers. My husband could easily have been the target of such violence and that scares me to no end. I really had to pray when he told me about the incident. More importantly, I really had to stop thinking and just listen, really listen, to what God wanted to say. I realized that Vince could have been in that position, but he wasn't. God has called Vince to work at a dangerous place for this season and God will protect him.

Ironically, Vince is going back to school to work in an even more dangerous field. When he first told me of his new dreams, I had to step back and not let my emotions get the best of me. I realized that this is what God has called him to do and to do anything less would be out of God's will... that is not a place I'm willing to go. I would also hate for Vince to look back at his life and think of all the "what if's." To be the best wife I can be, I have to support God's plan for my husband. So yeah, I'm still scared. But my faith is bigger than my fear. When God calls any one of us to go home, the decision is a deliberate one for God. It's my daily decision on how I will live: paralyzed in fear or living with trust.

Cure for the Common Life Book Review

Have you ever felt a little burned out on life? That's where I have been. A dark cloud settled over me for a month or so and I had a really hard time shaking free from it. As I look back now, I see that I was on a road to destruction of sorts. I am the "yes" girl to much - too much! People ask for help, people need help, I generally say yes to just about anything. But, to my demise, all these little "yes-es" turn into a big pile of stress on my shoulders. I suppose I felt that since I am a stay-home mom, I need to do a lot to fill my time. But as my family suffered for it, I realized I needed to change some priorities.

In the midst of my valley, I walked into a book store and prayed in front of the Christian section. "Lord, please give me something here that will help." I spotted Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado. I do not like self-help type books, but I know I can read this author. I went to pay for it.... no wallet. The next morning I was debating if I should spend the money and go back for it. I went it to glance at it. I opened it to a page that said in the caption, "Jesus said no to good things to say yes to the right thing." This was a book I had to read.

It is a really good book for figuring out what you are supposed to "be" while here on earth. God has given each person unique gifts that they are supposed to use to serve in the kingdom of God. The back cover reads:

"Sweet spot." Golfers understand the term. So do tennis players. Ever swung a baseball bat or paddled a Ping-Pong ball? If so, you know the oh-so-nice feel of the sweet spot. Life in the sweet spot rolls like the downhill side of a downwind bike ride. But you don't have to swing a bat or a club to know this. What engineers give sports equipment, God gave you.A zone, a region, a life precinct in which you were made to dwell. He tailored the curves of your life to fit an empty space in his jigsaw puzzle. And life makes sweet sense when you find your spot.
But if you're like 87 percent of workers, you haven't found it. You don't find meaning in your work--or you're one of the 80 percent who don't believe their talents are used. What can you do? You're suffering from the common life, and you desperately need a cure.
Best-selling author Max Lucado has found it. In Cure for the Common Life he offers practical tools for exploring and identifying your own uniqueness, motivation to put your strengths to work, and the perfect prescription for finding and living in your sweet spot for the rest of your life.

The chapters help you to discover how God made you so very special, and how you shouldn't be discouraged if you are not like others or have their gifts. There is even a chapter to help you help your kids to find their gifts as well. The end gives a quiz of sorts to help you unravel and sort out your sweet spot and it really gets you thinking. I thought this book was excellent and I highly recommend it.

I am coming out of my valley now and feeling much better. Was it hormones? Maybe. Was it stress? Likely. Was it not living where I was supposed to be? For sure. I haven't quite figured out everything yet, but that's okay. I am thinking, praying, and working on it and if you read this book I hope it will encourage you, too!

My Favorite Baby Products

Okay, so I know that not everyone who reads this blog has a baby, but I know some of you are grandparents, aunties or know someone who will one day have a baby. Let's face it, babies will always be around and sometimes they come in waves. So if you're past this stage, breathe a sigh of relief and go shop on ebay.

Kiddopotomus TinyDiner Portable Placemat - This thing is great. You roll it up in your diaper bag and when you go out to eat, you unroll it on the table. I'm a bit of a germaphobe, and this thing keeps the messy meal semi-contained and off the public table. When the baby is finished using it, I wipe off the mess, roll it up and put it in a grocery bag to wash when I get home.

Tommy Tippee Roll Up Bib - I've tried a bunch of bibs, but I like these the best. They are plastic, not oil cloth so they food wipes right off. On the other plastic coated bibs, the food would stick to the velcro or the material would start to mildew... yuck! This has a hole closure and also rolls securely for travel.

Born Free Sippy Cups - I've tried Munchkin, Nuby and several other sippy cups and Lanie ends up choking because too much fluid comes out the spout. She drinks best from the Baby Born version. It's expensive, but we wash it every night and guard it when we go out so we don't accidentally leave it anywhere. However, we bought another one and the spout was a hard plastic unlike the first version which worked much better...

Baby Mum Mum - This is Lanie's favorite snack. They are light rice crackers that dissolve quickly. They are less messy than the little stars and she can hold onto it and bite it. It's even better when they go on sale at Toys R Us but Target also has them at a good price.

Thoses are some things I can't live without right now with my one-year-old. Oh,and Prozac... did I mention that too!?!?

Money Saving Tips Part 2

I've thought of three more money saving tips that I can't wait to share with you. I'm pretty excited because I'm spending AND making money!

Start your Christmas shopping now - For the past five years, I've always started my Christmas shopping about mid-September for several reasons: 1) Stores are clearing out merchandise to make room for Christmas toys and trendier stuff. I bought a toy a couple of weeks ago at Target that was usually $50 for $11.50! The packaging looks great, it works fine and it was $50 at Toys R Us. 2) Buying over a couple of months is a lot easier on the wallet. 3) I always scour the clearance racks at the chance that something will be perfect for someone on my list. Yesterday at JC Penny's they had a ton of racks marked $4.97 and $2.97! 4) Coupons! I also went to Kohl's yesterday and used the $10 off coupon from the newspaper. I bought three clearance t-shirts that my nephew is going to love for $7.00. Kohl's comes out with this coupon every few weeks, so I'll wait and use the next one for another gift (or to reward myself for being so thrifty!)

Craigslist Rocks - I've used Craigslist for several things: we've sold an area rug and entertainment center, bought a couple of nice chairs for our living room and currently I am selling my dining set. Within two hours I've already had two offers! Here are a couple of tips: people are always going to bargain so post it for slightly higher than you want for your item. Mark your posting cash only, you pick up. Save the person's e-mail address and phone number for safety reasons (and obviously never be home alone for the pick up). I also found my job at the Symphony using this site, and there is no fee (okay, that job did cost me my sanity for a season)!

Re-Focus - I have to admit that Mission's Month at church has really effected me. It's been so easy to hide in my little world and judge people for making stupid mistakes. Compassion has never been my middle name, but I've felt really convicted about it lately. With the two missionaries who have shared their stories of hurting people and the sacrifices that others are making, it has given me a new set of eyes. Even though I've been shopping, I haven't had the heart to buy anything for me (underwear excluded). I actually am feeling a little suffocated by all of the things that are busting out of our drawers and closets. And that's a really good thing.

Party Lessons

Okay, so I'm not quite the party animal that my sister is, but last weekend we had the opportunity to celebrate Elliana's first birthday with 40 friends and family members. I was an event coordinator for a couple of non-profits, but this was a totally different type of party. Here are some things that I learned to do and not to do in the future:

Photography - My husband Vince took some great pictures of the decorations before the party started. That was great for future planning and ideas. Unfortunately, we didn't get very many good pictures during the party because we were busy doing everything else. Next time I would assign a family member with a good eye for picture taking to this job.

Presents - Since Elliana was only one, she wasn't so into opening presents. We had several little girls who helped. One way to keep the gift frenzy under control is that we started from the youngest child and she got to open her own gift for Elliana. After all the kids opened their own gift, they could then choose another gift to open (for siblings, they just opened a gift from a different giver).

If the party isn't at your home - We decided to have the party at my parents house because it would accommodate all of our guests better. I planned for the party like I do when I pack for a trip: I have a laundry basket and I throw stuff into it as I remember the items I'll need to pack. The day or two before the party, I sort the supplies according to decor, paper goods, etc. and put instructions on each grouping. I also go through the entire event in my mind to think if I might need anything else. For example, for the pinata we would need the pinata itself, rope to hang it, a stick to bang it, candy to fill it, bags for the kids, labels for each bag and a garbage bag for the aftermath.

Focus on what's important - A lot of stuff happened that was out of my control, including questionable behavior from some family members. I was really upset (okay, I'm still pretty ticked off), but the day was about the guest of honor. As long as Elliana had a good time and I did the best I could, than I need to realize that that made it a successful day.

It's the details; it's not the details - I tried to think of everything I could to make the party run smoothly. The details make the party special. BUT.... if your guests feel welcomed and that you are having fun then the cake, the decorations and the favors are all secondary. If your guests feel that you are burdened by perfection and getting the details right, you've just defeated the purpose of a celebration.

So here are some things that I learned. I also know to create a Plan B because I know certain issues are going to come up again. Parties are a symphony of culinary balance and social juggling. Thank God birthdays only come once a year!

Money Saving Tips

In this economy, who couldn't use a few money saving tips? Here are some things that I have learned.

When I see something that I like in a store, whether that be a decorative piece for my home, favors for a party or a cute onesie, I see how it's made and try to replicate it. For my daughter's first birthday that is in a few weeks, I took this to heart on a tight budget. I made a custom onesie from scrap material and a white shirt she already had, made a matching bib, table runners and felt lady bugs for the table. The total cost was $6.00!

Be accountable. My husband has a firm handle on our purse strings (but not in a tyrannical sort of way!) He tells me ahead of time "This is going to be a tight month. Insurance is due." or something else to that nature. I know to limit my spending during certain times of the year. We also abide by the $100 rule: if we spend more than $100 on any one thing, we consult each other first.

Coupons are your friend. Growing up, I remember my mom scouring through the Sunday paper, scissors in hand. Now I do the same thing with the Value Packs and the various ads that flow through the mail. I also know the routine of coupons that come from some of my favorite stores; almost weekly Babies R Us has a 20%off coupon on any one baby item and Joann Crafts has 40% off coupons at least once a month. I plan my shopping accordingly.

Hand-me-downs are awesome. Okay, so I am a little picky. I'll only use hand-me-downs from close family members and maybe a friend depending on the item. Right now I have three bins of clothes for Elliana to use in the future from three older cousins... some items still have the tags on them! I'm fortunate too; my sister and sister-in-law give me only their best items that are not stained and are in great condition.

Plan ahead. At the end of a season, buy clothes for next year. This is an obvious tip, but last week I bought six shirts, a pair of flip flops, and two bottoms from Gymboree for $30. I also knew I needed a black wool coat for this winter and yesterday I purchased one for $42, normally $250. The Internet store was clearing out their merchandise to prepare for this season's winter clothes.

Eat at home. Even those little trips through the drive thru add up. And if you must eat out, order water with lemon. Those $2.00 sodas make a huge difference (both on your budget and in your waist line)!

So these are a few of my tips for now. I hope they help you as much as they've helped my wallet. In a one income family with no debt, I can tell you that they work!

Top 10 Things My Sister Has Taught Me

I love having my big sister. She is one of the most amazing people I know and for those of you who don't have a big sis, I thought I'd share some of what I have learned.

10. Create a house that your husband wants to come home to.

9. When having guests over, consider it a treat to serve them and do it will all your heart.

8. Find your child's talents and passions and let them fly. Let them follow their dreams, not what you think their dreams should be.

7. If there is a gap, step up. Instead of "why me?" ask "why not me?"

6. Make every child feel special. Get to know your child's friends and your friend's children as individuals.

5. My job as a wife is to make my husband look good, from Christmas cookies to hand out at work to clean shirts hanging in the closet.

4. Treat everyone as part of your inner circle.

3. Have fun and don't take life too seriously.

2. Get over yourself. Realize that life isn't about you.

1. Always strive to be the woman God wants you to be. Keep yourself in check and have a few close people around you to be completely honest with who you are.