2011

In our MOPS group several years ago we asked the mentors questions.... their biggest thrills of motherhood, their biggest regrets. What they wished they had done, what they felt they did right. A repeated theme was that time goes so fast - they all had wished they'd slowed down more and played with their kids. They all wished that they had "stopped to smell the roses" more. This was from eight women with anywhere from one to four grown kids. They all felt this way. Their statements made sense to me, but with two toddlers at the time I just wanted a break.

Now, I really want to heed their special advice and learn from them. As I look back and see that my "babies" are now 10, 8 and 4, I see that time does go by so very fast. How can that little baby boy I held be 10? I am more than half way done "mothering" him in a way. In ten years from now he'll be a man making his own choices and finding his way in life. When I think back to when my kids were small I see that the days were slow, but the years went by fast.

This year holds some scary things for the E family and it's a time to stretch our faith and depend on God. In February I am going in for a breast reduction surgery. (Ouch!) In June Nate will have his leg lengthening surgery. He'll have three months recovery with no weight on that leg and me turning pins to stretch the bone. (Ouch!) Bryan's contract job will end and we are hoping and praying that another job comes along. (Ouch!) But, we know that we are in the palm of God's hands. He will not leave us. Despite these things which all can turn into great changes for all of us, I want to stop and enjoy my time with these kids. Watch them more, listen more, love them even more. Instead of being scared, I want to choose to have faith that our Father has good planned for us. I want to enjoy life and live in faith. This is the only place where there truly is peace and joy to it's fullest.

So whatever your 2011 holds, may it be blessed and full of wonderful gifts from God! May we all slow down - even just a bit - and smell the roses more.

Mighty Leaf Tea Mighty Leaf Variety, Whole Leaf Pouches, 1.36-Ounces, 15-Count (Pack of 3)

What I'm Not Grateful For

As Thanksgiving approaches, these are the things I am NOT grateful for:

1) The huge zit on the bridge of my nose that looks like a third eye.

2) The grey hairs I had to dye tonight.

3) The black marks that stained my forehead from the hair dye.

4) My cold that has sapped my strength. How can a nose be stuffed up and running like a faucet at the same time?

What I am thankful for: That all these problems are completely petty.

My Little Miracle

September was Missions Month at church and it was amazing. Living in this bubble of being a stay at home mom can be mind numbing at times and a little bit isolating. The missionaries who came to speak at church gave me a shot of reality and a dose of compassion that I sorely needed.

Every Sunday during Missions Month a pastor asks for a Faith Promise from each family so that the church can budget what to give to the missionaries on the field. I strongly felt like God said that we needed to give $50 a month to this cause. When I mentioned this to my husband, he hesitated and commented that things were a bit too tight to commit that amount. I agreed and then dropped the subject. But when God speaks, its pretty scary not to follow through. So after several weeks of prayer I carefully brought up the subject again. To my surprise, Vince filled out a Faith Promise card and already paid the current month's $50.

Now here is the other cool part: three months ago I applied for a job to write for a blog. I was contacted the week Vince submitted the commitment card and now we have more than enough to cover our Faith Promise. Lesson reiterated: God ALWAYS comes through. It's like when Peter walked on water; you first have to step out of the boat.

Live Without Fear

I live in fear much of the time. I've built a wall around myself to block out fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of the unknown. Don't even get me started on my fear of strangers and fear of another car accident. I'm also terrified that someone I love will get seriously injured or worse.

I had to really think about my fears two days ago when a woman at my husband's work was severely injured. Vince is a nurse at the county jail and an inmate attacked one of my husband's co-workers. My husband could easily have been the target of such violence and that scares me to no end. I really had to pray when he told me about the incident. More importantly, I really had to stop thinking and just listen, really listen, to what God wanted to say. I realized that Vince could have been in that position, but he wasn't. God has called Vince to work at a dangerous place for this season and God will protect him.

Ironically, Vince is going back to school to work in an even more dangerous field. When he first told me of his new dreams, I had to step back and not let my emotions get the best of me. I realized that this is what God has called him to do and to do anything less would be out of God's will... that is not a place I'm willing to go. I would also hate for Vince to look back at his life and think of all the "what if's." To be the best wife I can be, I have to support God's plan for my husband. So yeah, I'm still scared. But my faith is bigger than my fear. When God calls any one of us to go home, the decision is a deliberate one for God. It's my daily decision on how I will live: paralyzed in fear or living with trust.

Cure for the Common Life Book Review

Have you ever felt a little burned out on life? That's where I have been. A dark cloud settled over me for a month or so and I had a really hard time shaking free from it. As I look back now, I see that I was on a road to destruction of sorts. I am the "yes" girl to much - too much! People ask for help, people need help, I generally say yes to just about anything. But, to my demise, all these little "yes-es" turn into a big pile of stress on my shoulders. I suppose I felt that since I am a stay-home mom, I need to do a lot to fill my time. But as my family suffered for it, I realized I needed to change some priorities.

In the midst of my valley, I walked into a book store and prayed in front of the Christian section. "Lord, please give me something here that will help." I spotted Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado. I do not like self-help type books, but I know I can read this author. I went to pay for it.... no wallet. The next morning I was debating if I should spend the money and go back for it. I went it to glance at it. I opened it to a page that said in the caption, "Jesus said no to good things to say yes to the right thing." This was a book I had to read.

It is a really good book for figuring out what you are supposed to "be" while here on earth. God has given each person unique gifts that they are supposed to use to serve in the kingdom of God. The back cover reads:

"Sweet spot." Golfers understand the term. So do tennis players. Ever swung a baseball bat or paddled a Ping-Pong ball? If so, you know the oh-so-nice feel of the sweet spot. Life in the sweet spot rolls like the downhill side of a downwind bike ride. But you don't have to swing a bat or a club to know this. What engineers give sports equipment, God gave you.A zone, a region, a life precinct in which you were made to dwell. He tailored the curves of your life to fit an empty space in his jigsaw puzzle. And life makes sweet sense when you find your spot.
But if you're like 87 percent of workers, you haven't found it. You don't find meaning in your work--or you're one of the 80 percent who don't believe their talents are used. What can you do? You're suffering from the common life, and you desperately need a cure.
Best-selling author Max Lucado has found it. In Cure for the Common Life he offers practical tools for exploring and identifying your own uniqueness, motivation to put your strengths to work, and the perfect prescription for finding and living in your sweet spot for the rest of your life.

The chapters help you to discover how God made you so very special, and how you shouldn't be discouraged if you are not like others or have their gifts. There is even a chapter to help you help your kids to find their gifts as well. The end gives a quiz of sorts to help you unravel and sort out your sweet spot and it really gets you thinking. I thought this book was excellent and I highly recommend it.

I am coming out of my valley now and feeling much better. Was it hormones? Maybe. Was it stress? Likely. Was it not living where I was supposed to be? For sure. I haven't quite figured out everything yet, but that's okay. I am thinking, praying, and working on it and if you read this book I hope it will encourage you, too!

My Favorite Baby Products

Okay, so I know that not everyone who reads this blog has a baby, but I know some of you are grandparents, aunties or know someone who will one day have a baby. Let's face it, babies will always be around and sometimes they come in waves. So if you're past this stage, breathe a sigh of relief and go shop on ebay.

Kiddopotomus TinyDiner Portable Placemat - This thing is great. You roll it up in your diaper bag and when you go out to eat, you unroll it on the table. I'm a bit of a germaphobe, and this thing keeps the messy meal semi-contained and off the public table. When the baby is finished using it, I wipe off the mess, roll it up and put it in a grocery bag to wash when I get home.

Tommy Tippee Roll Up Bib - I've tried a bunch of bibs, but I like these the best. They are plastic, not oil cloth so they food wipes right off. On the other plastic coated bibs, the food would stick to the velcro or the material would start to mildew... yuck! This has a hole closure and also rolls securely for travel.

Born Free Sippy Cups - I've tried Munchkin, Nuby and several other sippy cups and Lanie ends up choking because too much fluid comes out the spout. She drinks best from the Baby Born version. It's expensive, but we wash it every night and guard it when we go out so we don't accidentally leave it anywhere. However, we bought another one and the spout was a hard plastic unlike the first version which worked much better...

Baby Mum Mum - This is Lanie's favorite snack. They are light rice crackers that dissolve quickly. They are less messy than the little stars and she can hold onto it and bite it. It's even better when they go on sale at Toys R Us but Target also has them at a good price.

Thoses are some things I can't live without right now with my one-year-old. Oh,and Prozac... did I mention that too!?!?

Money Saving Tips Part 2

I've thought of three more money saving tips that I can't wait to share with you. I'm pretty excited because I'm spending AND making money!

Start your Christmas shopping now - For the past five years, I've always started my Christmas shopping about mid-September for several reasons: 1) Stores are clearing out merchandise to make room for Christmas toys and trendier stuff. I bought a toy a couple of weeks ago at Target that was usually $50 for $11.50! The packaging looks great, it works fine and it was $50 at Toys R Us. 2) Buying over a couple of months is a lot easier on the wallet. 3) I always scour the clearance racks at the chance that something will be perfect for someone on my list. Yesterday at JC Penny's they had a ton of racks marked $4.97 and $2.97! 4) Coupons! I also went to Kohl's yesterday and used the $10 off coupon from the newspaper. I bought three clearance t-shirts that my nephew is going to love for $7.00. Kohl's comes out with this coupon every few weeks, so I'll wait and use the next one for another gift (or to reward myself for being so thrifty!)

Craigslist Rocks - I've used Craigslist for several things: we've sold an area rug and entertainment center, bought a couple of nice chairs for our living room and currently I am selling my dining set. Within two hours I've already had two offers! Here are a couple of tips: people are always going to bargain so post it for slightly higher than you want for your item. Mark your posting cash only, you pick up. Save the person's e-mail address and phone number for safety reasons (and obviously never be home alone for the pick up). I also found my job at the Symphony using this site, and there is no fee (okay, that job did cost me my sanity for a season)!

Re-Focus - I have to admit that Mission's Month at church has really effected me. It's been so easy to hide in my little world and judge people for making stupid mistakes. Compassion has never been my middle name, but I've felt really convicted about it lately. With the two missionaries who have shared their stories of hurting people and the sacrifices that others are making, it has given me a new set of eyes. Even though I've been shopping, I haven't had the heart to buy anything for me (underwear excluded). I actually am feeling a little suffocated by all of the things that are busting out of our drawers and closets. And that's a really good thing.

Party Lessons

Okay, so I'm not quite the party animal that my sister is, but last weekend we had the opportunity to celebrate Elliana's first birthday with 40 friends and family members. I was an event coordinator for a couple of non-profits, but this was a totally different type of party. Here are some things that I learned to do and not to do in the future:

Photography - My husband Vince took some great pictures of the decorations before the party started. That was great for future planning and ideas. Unfortunately, we didn't get very many good pictures during the party because we were busy doing everything else. Next time I would assign a family member with a good eye for picture taking to this job.

Presents - Since Elliana was only one, she wasn't so into opening presents. We had several little girls who helped. One way to keep the gift frenzy under control is that we started from the youngest child and she got to open her own gift for Elliana. After all the kids opened their own gift, they could then choose another gift to open (for siblings, they just opened a gift from a different giver).

If the party isn't at your home - We decided to have the party at my parents house because it would accommodate all of our guests better. I planned for the party like I do when I pack for a trip: I have a laundry basket and I throw stuff into it as I remember the items I'll need to pack. The day or two before the party, I sort the supplies according to decor, paper goods, etc. and put instructions on each grouping. I also go through the entire event in my mind to think if I might need anything else. For example, for the pinata we would need the pinata itself, rope to hang it, a stick to bang it, candy to fill it, bags for the kids, labels for each bag and a garbage bag for the aftermath.

Focus on what's important - A lot of stuff happened that was out of my control, including questionable behavior from some family members. I was really upset (okay, I'm still pretty ticked off), but the day was about the guest of honor. As long as Elliana had a good time and I did the best I could, than I need to realize that that made it a successful day.

It's the details; it's not the details - I tried to think of everything I could to make the party run smoothly. The details make the party special. BUT.... if your guests feel welcomed and that you are having fun then the cake, the decorations and the favors are all secondary. If your guests feel that you are burdened by perfection and getting the details right, you've just defeated the purpose of a celebration.

So here are some things that I learned. I also know to create a Plan B because I know certain issues are going to come up again. Parties are a symphony of culinary balance and social juggling. Thank God birthdays only come once a year!

Money Saving Tips

In this economy, who couldn't use a few money saving tips? Here are some things that I have learned.

When I see something that I like in a store, whether that be a decorative piece for my home, favors for a party or a cute onesie, I see how it's made and try to replicate it. For my daughter's first birthday that is in a few weeks, I took this to heart on a tight budget. I made a custom onesie from scrap material and a white shirt she already had, made a matching bib, table runners and felt lady bugs for the table. The total cost was $6.00!

Be accountable. My husband has a firm handle on our purse strings (but not in a tyrannical sort of way!) He tells me ahead of time "This is going to be a tight month. Insurance is due." or something else to that nature. I know to limit my spending during certain times of the year. We also abide by the $100 rule: if we spend more than $100 on any one thing, we consult each other first.

Coupons are your friend. Growing up, I remember my mom scouring through the Sunday paper, scissors in hand. Now I do the same thing with the Value Packs and the various ads that flow through the mail. I also know the routine of coupons that come from some of my favorite stores; almost weekly Babies R Us has a 20%off coupon on any one baby item and Joann Crafts has 40% off coupons at least once a month. I plan my shopping accordingly.

Hand-me-downs are awesome. Okay, so I am a little picky. I'll only use hand-me-downs from close family members and maybe a friend depending on the item. Right now I have three bins of clothes for Elliana to use in the future from three older cousins... some items still have the tags on them! I'm fortunate too; my sister and sister-in-law give me only their best items that are not stained and are in great condition.

Plan ahead. At the end of a season, buy clothes for next year. This is an obvious tip, but last week I bought six shirts, a pair of flip flops, and two bottoms from Gymboree for $30. I also knew I needed a black wool coat for this winter and yesterday I purchased one for $42, normally $250. The Internet store was clearing out their merchandise to prepare for this season's winter clothes.

Eat at home. Even those little trips through the drive thru add up. And if you must eat out, order water with lemon. Those $2.00 sodas make a huge difference (both on your budget and in your waist line)!

So these are a few of my tips for now. I hope they help you as much as they've helped my wallet. In a one income family with no debt, I can tell you that they work!

Top 10 Things My Sister Has Taught Me

I love having my big sister. She is one of the most amazing people I know and for those of you who don't have a big sis, I thought I'd share some of what I have learned.

10. Create a house that your husband wants to come home to.

9. When having guests over, consider it a treat to serve them and do it will all your heart.

8. Find your child's talents and passions and let them fly. Let them follow their dreams, not what you think their dreams should be.

7. If there is a gap, step up. Instead of "why me?" ask "why not me?"

6. Make every child feel special. Get to know your child's friends and your friend's children as individuals.

5. My job as a wife is to make my husband look good, from Christmas cookies to hand out at work to clean shirts hanging in the closet.

4. Treat everyone as part of your inner circle.

3. Have fun and don't take life too seriously.

2. Get over yourself. Realize that life isn't about you.

1. Always strive to be the woman God wants you to be. Keep yourself in check and have a few close people around you to be completely honest with who you are.

Meal Time Organization

In following my post on organizing, meal time is a high priority for our family. Even when not every member is able to eat together, it's still important that we have healthy prepared dinners.

Meal planning is hard to do, and I have to admit that I am not always “on it” as I should be. When I have my act together and plan my meals, life tends to go much smoother at the dinner hour! One technique that worked great for me for a long while was setting up a certain type of food for each night of the week. This was what I did:

Monday – Big salad or Sandwich night (panini’s, subs, grilled cheese & soup,…)

Tuesday – “Taco Tuesday” – any Mexican food

Wednesday – Asian night pr Something new night

Thursday – Italian night

Friday – Kid’s Choice night

Weekends – wing it! Left-overs

There are other techniques that I have used that work well. My mom taught me to plan according to the ads – what’s on sale is what we eat. She would always get the ad Tuesday and plan out her meals Wednesday to the next Tuesday. I still do this to a point. Another thing I have done, and still do the most when I plan, is when I do my Sunday night calendar plan I also plan out the meals at the same time. Then I know for sure what night needs to be a Crock Pot night and which nights I have a little more time for something more complex.

Some more tips for meals are:
*Make a menu  and list before going to the grocery store, it saves money (but only if you stick to it!)
*Make double portions and freeze, save as “emergency” dinners
*Keep “emergency” quick meals in the freezer (Costco and Trader Joe’s!)
*Get recipes from friends - ask for their "Top 5" meals they make and add what works for your family to your file

Do you just feel like "window shopping" on the web sometimes? I do this and end up wasting time looking at chandeliers and new furniture that I don't forsee getting anytime soon. I recently decided to "window shop" recipes to try. My favorite site is http://www.allrecipes.com/. It has tons of recipes with reviews and pictures done by people at home. You see the real deal and it lets you print or save recipes.

Do you have some tips for meal planning? I'd love to know them! Or share your favorite dinner recipe....
Here are some of my favorite cook books...
Cooking A to Z
Barefoot Contessa Back to Basics: Fabulous Flavor from Simple Ingredients
Barefoot Contessa at Home: Everyday Recipes You'll Make Over and Over Again
Everyday Food: Fresh Flavor Fast: 250 Easy, Delicious Recipes for Any Time of Day (Everyday Food (Clarkson Potter))

Getting Organized

In today’s society we are overwhelmed and rushing from one thing to the next. We live in a time when you almost have to plan everything to get anything done. Many families are under so much pressure – and granted, there are many fun and good activities filling our lives – but when our activities are robbing us of joy, contentment, and a sense that we have a handle on our primary responsibilities, then something must change. A key to truly living and not just surviving is organization.


Let me place a little disclaimer here – I am not a truly organized person by nature. I am a little more on the artsy side and would rather take life one day at a time and cross each bridge as I approach it. But living life in this manner with kids, church, activities, and a home to maintain left me and my whole family a little frantic and unstable.

There are some things I have discovered along the way that have smoothed out some of the wrinkles and made life richer for the E’s. I’d love to share these things with you and I hope you can find something that can help your own family!

Setting Goals For Your Family
Running a household and home is much like running a business (there is my business background peeking in.) A business’ goal is to find a niche, satisfy a need, and turn a profit. These goals are met through research, budgeting, and setting goals. It’s important to ask yourself, “What’s really important to my family?” What is important to you?

Bryan and I sat down to determine what our goals were for our family. We discovered that our number one priority as a family is God. After that it’s our relationships with each other and friends, education for the kids, a clean house (for my slightly OCD husband), and healthy meals for family dinner time. We decided to prioritize and organize ourselves in order to reach these goals.

Set up Your Calendar and To-Do Lists Around the Goals
It’s important to set up a schedule to reach the goals. The following is a list of tasks that we put in place to keep us going. They are not always met, and we do re-evaluate and change them from time to time as our family grows.

Family meetings- monthly
*Is everyone moving most of the time in the right direction toward the goals?
*Evaluation behavior, what needs to be fixed, good things done, everyone can have their chance to voice what they are thinking about
Family Devotionals- weekly (in addition to nightly praying)
*Honeywell Bible – short lesson, prayer for week ahead
Homework- daily or as needed
*Depends on schedule with other activities, but must be done before bathing
Activities- depending on season
*Two activities at most per child – music lessons, little league, gymnastics, etc.
Chore evaluation- weekly- Saturdays (on chart) Paid accordingly

In order to hit my own targets, I set up my calendar at the beginning of each month and make a list of things that need to be done.  I also sit down on Sunday nights to update and review the calendar for the week to pace out what needs to be done. Bryan sets up our master family calendar, too, so we can all see what’s on each other’s radar. I highly recommend this on a large calendar where everyone in the family can see it. We hang a large dry-erase calendar inside our pantry door so we can all check it easily. I really helps to answer many questions on meetings, rehersals, practices, etc. Each family member has a different color ink to help the kids see what is their activity. (Please see the end of this post for some calendar links.)

I also have set up a weekly routine that I keep in order to schedule and plan accordingly. Sometimes, of course, appointments, friends, or Target happen that don’t fall according to my plan, so I move things around as needed. This is not in concrete for me, but I do my best to keep it without it keeping me…

Daily schedule for mom
Monday- Clean house, clean linens, do as much laundry as possible
Tuesday – Finish laundry, run errands, grocery shop, pay bills
Wednesday – Correspondence with friends, house project
Thursday – Bible study, dump garbages
Friday – laundry and something fun – craft, walk, meet with a friend
Saturday – whatever
Sunday – church, plan out week, plan meals

I hope you can use some of what I’ve learned to help you get more organized. Organization isn't fun, but it pays off in a big way.  Please share any tips that you have, too!


Board Dudes 18"x22" Home Décor Magnetic Dry Erase Calendar (84012UA-4)
Cra-Z-Art 3-in-1 Combo Board (Dry Erase, Calendar and Cork) Contemporary Sleek Silver Aluminum Frame with Marker and Two Magnets, 17 x 23 Inches (12195)
Cra-Z-Art Dry Erase Calendar Board, Contemporary Basic White Plastic Frame, with Marker and Two Magnets, 17 x 23 Inches (12174)
Board Dudes Unframed Magnetic Calendar, Magnetic Dry Erase Board, 14 x 14 Inches (13850UA-4)

Bitterness

My daughter has brought so much healing into my life. God has given me a sweet balm to quench the bitterness that has consumed my soul for far too long.

For almost fourteen years I was angry at God; serving Him begrudgingly because I knew I had no where else to turn. I had failed at so many things and needed even a small victory to get me through each day.

I didn't know how bad off I was until God started to heal me of my anger. With anger came pessimism, self pity, being judgmental, self loathing, depression and self righteousness... a dangerous combination. I was scared to breathe for fear that pain would consume me or the fragile balance of sanity I was teetering on would shatter. Bitterness brought me into a depth of depression where I would weep in the corner of my dark, locked bathroom and couldn't emerge until my husband would engulf me with his arms and cry with me. I couldn't leave the house. I couldn't talk to anyone; I wasn't strong enough to hold the mask up to hide who I really was.

I'm not really sure what changed this; part of me thinks it was when I determined not to let my circumstances dictate who I was and therefore God allowed me to get pregnant. I decided that I would love and serve God for who He is, not for what I did or did not receive. Another part of me thinks that with my pregnancy I had a reason to believe and hope again. Either way, it doesn't really matter. I am healed of depression. I am healed of bitterness. I am still trying to chisel down the walls around my soul to let God fully in. But its a start.

Dealing With Pain Daily

As I've mentioned before, I have fibromyalgia (chronic pain) and arthritis. I thought I would share some products that make my day to day life a little easier. Nothing takes all of the pain away, but many times I just need to take the edge off.

I love my Fit Flop shoes. They are like flip flops but are sturdier with great support and cushioning. They are supposed to help tone your tush and legs... I don't know about that. I just know I can walk around in them for hours. They are pretty expensive; about $60 a pair at Macy's, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet to be comfortable. They also last a long time. I constantly wear the ones I bought last summer and I bought another pair a few months ago. They come in simples styles, but I like the flashy ones in sequins and rhinestones. My sister says I have an ugly shoe collection, but even she owns two pairs of these!

Salonpas are my next big go to item. They are patches that you place where your pain is. You can find them at most grocery stores, Target and Costco. The main ingredients are menthol and camphor, so you'll smell rather minty but it feels so good. Beware of wearing them too long or too much; they can hurt when you take them off because they are stickers and will take off the fine hairs on your skin and sometimes even a little skin. For a while I had small rectangle scars on my back because I wore these everyday for...hmmm.... a year?!? They are perfect to throw in your purse and there is no mess when applying like with creams. It also comes in a spray, but I like the patches because the medicine stays on longer.

I also love the aromatherapy heating pads that you can get at the mall kiosks. I heat mine in the microwave for 2 1/2 minutes and wrap it around my shoulders. When I get too lazy, a plain old plug in heating pad will suffice (especially in the middle of the night.)

When I get a horrible headache, I take a hot bath and add a few drops of Kwan Loong Oil. (You can get this at Country Square Market or online.) The menthol steam penetrates soothes my sinuses and the oil relaxes my muscles even more. Between the Kwan Loong Oil and Salonpas, I smell like an old lady! Don't sit next to me in church!

Valerian Root helps me sleep at night. (I haven't taken it in a while due to pregnancy and breastfeeding.) This is an herbal muscle relaxer and you can find it at most stores in the natural foods section. Warning: it smells like stinky feet! Luckily, you won't smell like it and you won't taste it after you swallow it.

Well, I hope these products help you if you battle pain like I do. I've tried TONS of products and these are my favorites.

Top 10 Things I Thought I Would Never Do as a Mom

Here are some things I thought I would never do as a mom:

10. Put my kid in an exersaucer to watch TV while I get stuff done

9. Cuss when she gets up for the third time in one night

8. Feed her sugar before her first birthday

7. Feed her snacks that fall on the floor (not public floors, though!)

6. Forget to see my husband as the man I fell in love with and only as a partner in caring for a baby

5. Say "crap" 5 out of 10 times when I hear the cry that naptime is over

4. Watch Yo Gabba Gabba until I start humming "There's a Party in my Tummy" without even realizing it

3. Visit Toys R Us every other week just to get out of the house

2. Shove snacks in my kid just to keep her quiet and happy

1. Become so "mommy" - dang it!!!

It's the Little Things

For the past three days I've been watching a dove and her mate build a nest just outside my window. She sits and eagerly awaits for him to retrieve twigs and branches for their little nest that is quickly growing in weaves and tangles. I watch her dwell in her nest and she observes me living in mine.

Right now the bills are piling up as our car has died for the third time in a month. Insurance is due. We trekked to the grocery store this morning for our weekly hunting and gathering. We just refinanced our home. And I feel terribly guilty for purchasing $6.99 lip gloss last night. I hate financial issues!

So I glance out the window and watch the dove preparing for her future. The lavender bushes in our yard sway to the gentle nudges of the summer breeze. Our peaches are blushing, painted by the sun's warming rays. Right now I am savoring the simple things. When we get too comfortable, sometimes God needs to give us a wake up call to the things that are most important.

(I just took these pictures in my yard. What a pretty day!)

Lanie Bug's Room

I love to decorate and I finally finished Elliana's room yesterday. I wanted it to be sweet but not too babyish so that she could grow into it. I'm also very cheap so the whole thing cost me under $200. I made the drapes, wall hanging, table coverings and reupolstered a hand-me-down rocking chair with material from a close out fabric store. The cherry blossom branches were given to me by a friend who bought them as centerpieces for my baby shower (its cool how they came full circle!) Lamps were expensive, so I bought three Chinese lanterns with chord for $40. The crib and changing table were my nieces' and nephew's. Some acrylic paint for about $2.00 and voila!, a lady bug wonderland!

Being Content

I'm finally content. As I sit at my desk today deciding what I should write about I realized this colossal fact: I am finally content. My surroundings haven't changed; it's what God has done in my heart.

I honestly cannot remember a time in my life where I was happy being right where I was. I wanted a better job. I wanted to look better. I wanted a bigger house. I wanted more money. Okay, so those are things I still want (plus no pain, another child, a better city to live in...). But I realized that if the blessings I have now were the only ones that God so deems to give me, I would be grateful.

There's something about waiting and fighting for the things you want that makes you appreciate the reward. I prayed for Vince for two years before we ever went out on our first date. I prayed for a house for two years and the down payment came from my car accident insurance money (so it was definitely bought with my blood, sweat and tears.) I prayed for Elliana for six years before God ever put her in my womb. And there are several people who traveled and fought along side me when I no longer had the strength or faith to keep on going. I am blessed.

Every night I pray for my daughter and the traits that I want her to have. I realized that the only way for her to develop into a woman of God is for me to pattern what that should look like. Boy, did that convict me! The bumps and bruises of life have caused me to be a cynic. Time and motherhood have caused me to re-evaluate who I am and who I want to be. My first step is towards gratefulness.

The Five Love Languages - Book and Topic Review

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
The Heart of the Five Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
The Five Love Languages of Children
The 5 Love Languages Men's Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts
The Five Love Languages Singles Edition
by Dr. Gary Chapman

For our church Ladies' retreat in the spring, I taught a workshop on the Five Love Languages. If you have never explored this topic, it is really worth looking into. It can change all your relationships from your spouse to your kids to your friends. This talk was mainly for married women, but can be applied in any relationship on different levels.

There are several different books that Dr. Chapman covers Love Languages in, and even though I have read the Children's version before, my husband and I are reading it together now to make sure that we are on target with our three kids. There are also versions specifically for men, single adults, and marriages that could use a tune up.

Here is a summary of my discussion notes and an overview of the book:

  

Paul said to the Gentiles in 1 Cor. 13:13, “Three things will last forever- faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.”

 Dr. Chapman says that we all have an Emotional Tank.  It's either full or empty, like a bank with deposits and withdrawals

In marriage – Your spouse will change for the positive if their “tank” is full

In kids – a full tank will them operate as they should and reach their potential

Love Languages are the ways in which we express and want love expressed to us. There are five basic love languages:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

Unconditional love is what kids need – Conditional love is performance based and is what most kids feel.

 “If children feel genuinely loved by their parents, they will be more responsive to parental guidance in all areas of their lives.”

Physical needs are easy to recognize, but we need to also focus on mental and emotional growth as well.

You cannot determine a child’s love language if they are under 5

Even in discovering the love language of your spouse or child, not everything will always go perfectly. There will be set backs, but we can all benefit from the effort of expressing love

#1 Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a compliment”.
Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”
Proverbs 12:25 “An encouraging word cheers a person up”
Words of affirmation are words that build up
Usually quick and to the point, must be sincere

Encouraging words:

Encourage means “to inspire courage”
Perhaps your spouse or child has untapped potential and just need a few words from you to inspire them to step out
The person must already have a desire for something or else it sounds like condemnation – example – losing weight

Kind Words: 
Love is kind
More people interpret what we are saying by the tone of our voice more than the words we are actually saying – example – “I love you.”      I love you?

Perhaps this is an area of much hurt and struggle in your relationships. Today is a new day!

"Don’t mess up today with yesterday"

In an argument, approach with softness and kindness- see what happens if you can control your words
Forgiveness is the way of love

Humble Words
Love makes requests, not demands
How you ask makes a big difference
There is a difference in being a spouse/spouse and a spouse/child
Ask in a way that affirms their worth and abilities
They can do something meaningful and worthwhile, affirm, don’t belittle

Various Dialects
All have something in common – to affirm one’s spouse
One of the deepest human needs is the need to feel appreciated
Indirect words – compliment them when they are not even around
Written words

#2 Quality Time
Quality Time is undivided attention, not watching TV together. It involves looking at each-other, talking, taking a walk.

The difference between married couples and dating couples – eye contact
Togetherness is a key, not proximity (same room), focused attention
Not what you are doing that matters, but what happens on an emotional level

Quality Conversation is where two individuals are sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.

Words of Affirmation is saying
Quality Conversation is hearing

Listening
We try to analyze problems and provide solutions – relationship calls for sympathetic listening
1. Maintain eye contact
2. Don’t listen and do something else at the same time
3. Listen for feeling
4. Observe body language
5. Refuse to interrupt
     a. the average person only listens for 17 seconds

Learning to Talk
It may not come easy – quality conversation requires sympathetic listening and self revelation
How am I feeling? Emotions are good or bad – they are responses to the events of life

Personality Types
Dead Sea – goes nowhere, nothing to give
Babbling Brook – Whatever they see or hear they need to talk about

#3 Receiving Gifts
A gift is something you hold in your hand and say, “He was thinking of me”
Not so much the monetary value, but the sentiment
Flower from a child
Gifts are a symbol of love – wedding rings

To people whose love language is gifts, monetary value doesn’t matter unless it’s greatly out of line that what you can afford

Gifts and Money
Difference between spenders and savers

Gift of Self
Being there when your spouse needs you the most

Verbalize when you need someone’s presence – they can’t read your mind

#4 Acts of Service
Doing things you know your spouse would like you to do
Things that require thought, planning, time, effort and energy
In John 13:3-7 Jesus washed his disciples’ feet.
Gal. 5:13 “Serve one another in love”
Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love

Doormat or Lover?
When we treat our spouses like objects, we preclude the possibility of love.
Manipulation
Coercion by fear

Overcoming Stereotypes
There have been many sociological changes, but that doesn’t mean stereotypes haven’t been removed.
A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary to express love more effectively.
There are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes, but there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of your spouse
Simple, but not easy

#5 Physical Touch
Physical Touch is a way of communicating love
Hebrew parents brought their children to Jesus to have him touch them in Mark 10:13
Wise parents are touching parents
Physical touch is very important to marital love
Touch doesn’t have to be sexual. It’s holding hands, touching a person’s hair, putting your hand on their arm.

The Body is for Touching
To touch my body is to touch me, to move away physically is to move away emotionally
Refusal to shake hand sends a very strong message
There are appropriate and inappropriate ways of touching in every society
In marriage, there are appropriate and inappropriate ways of touching determined by the couple themselves
Bodies are for touching, not abuse
The trauma of an unfaithful spouse is even more devastating if the person’s love language is physical touch

Crisis and Physical Touch
We almost always hug each other in time of crisis
It is a powerful communicator of love
Tender touches will be remembered after a crisis has passed, failure to touch may never be forgotten either.

Discovering Your Primary Love Language
What makes you feel most loved by your spouse?
What do you desire about all else?
What hurts you most deeply?
Look back, what have you most requested?

It may be hard to discover your Love Language if your love tank is too full or too empty. You may need to write it out in addition to the profile to truly discover your language. Write out what you think it may be and why and rate them in order of importance.

Figuring out how you and your spouse and kids express love will greatly open the doors to a more fulfilling love experience and relationship.

If you go to the Website, you can take a free test to see what your love language is. There is also a test at the end of each book.

Pain in the Neck

As I've already written, I deal with fibromyalgia and have chronic pain. It really, really, REALLY stinks. The past few weeks it has been getting worse; I pop pills, take long showers, throw the aromatherapy heating pad into the microwave, and slap on a few menthol pain patches to no avail. There is one thing I keep forgetting to do and it should be the most obvious: pray.

I didn't really realize this until I went to church yesterday and the pastor prayed over the congregation. It got me thinking: "Why have I stopped praying for this issue that has plagued me for so long?" There are several reasons I've come up with:

1) Having a baby definitely keeps me busy. It certainly takes a lot of selflessness and my prayers are focused more on getting a good night's sleep (which is another dilemma unto itself).

2) It's so much easier to pop ibruprofen and hide in a steamy shower. When I pray for healing, I feel like I have to analyze my spiritual self and battle with feelings of doubt, forgiveness, and self loathing. I try to figure out why I'm not healed yet and after 13 years, that gets quite exhausting.

3) I've already had my miracle. God opened my womb and gave me the baby that I was longing to have. Asking for more just seems greedy.

4) I've given up. I figure if God hasn't healed me by now, this just might be the thorn that I have to bear the rest of my life. I'm tired of saying the same prayer and He's probably tired of hearing it.

Okay, all of these theories are complete garbage and my head knows it. I just get tired of fighting the same battle over and over. I guess now I have two things to pray for - healing AND a fresh touch from God. If I truly knew the character of God, I would probably never stop praying in the first place.

The Ultimate Gross Party for Boys

My six year old boy was turning seven. It was party time and my mind was busy going down many avenues of themes... He wanted a Mario party. Um.... no. Although I tried to think of things to do for it, I couldn't think of great activities, I had to come up with something that would seem cooler than his current obsession. After a huge belch and the laughter that came from his five-year-old sister and my frequent comment, "That's so gross..." and the discipline that followed, it hit me - boys are gross. Let's celebrate that quality for a day!

We decorated our long table where the kids would eat with plastic, plain table cloths from the dollar store. I took clear thread and hung plastic bugs over the table and sprinkled some on it. The centerpiece was a big clear glass punch bowl containing "Gross Punch". I used 7-up with different food coloring drops added and rainbow sherbet. It looked like a science experiment. Our "cake" was also in the center. I'll describe that under the "food" section.

If you read my previous articles on the elements of a party that I like to use, I'll walk you through our fun day...

Craft- As the kids arrived (both boys and girls), I had them make a fish print shirt. This was a technique that I learned in Japanese summer school in my youth on paper, and I thought it would be great on a shirt.  I purchased packages of 5 Hanes/ Fruit of the Loom plain white t-shirts at Walmart (or you can get them on sale at Michael's or in the clearance bins at Kmart for $.25). My mom bought several 6-10" fish from the market, and I put out disposable plates with regular acrylic craft paints and small foam brushes. The kids put on disposable gloves and painted a fish to their liking, then my mom (because it was just too gross for me) helped them to lightly press the painted side of the fish down on the shirt. They slowly lifted the fish and wrote their names in fabric squeeze paint near the fish image. We hung the shirts with clothes pins on a rope in the back yard to dry and as a decoration for the party.

Games- I borrowed the old baby shower game here. Nate's little sister Mia was just a baby in diapers, so I filled different ones with food items that the kids had to guess what was inside. The diapers were open so the kids could look at and smell what was inside. The different diapers contained mustard, peanut butter, melted chocolate, jelly, and pickle relish. The kids sat in a circle, passed the diapers and inspected them. The comments and looks on their faces were priceless! There wasn't so much a winner to this game. After all the diapers went around I held them up one a time and let them shout out the answers.
For the next game I had them feel what was in a lunch bag and guess what was in there (while still sitting in the circle.) Each bag had a number on it and I had grown ups help me here. They held the bag a little higher than the child's head and we had them reach in and feel and write what they thought it was on a 3x5" card. The grown up with the bag helped them write the answer if they needed assistance. In the different bags were peeled boiled eggs, boiled spaghetti, canned bay shrimp, gummy worms and kiwis. I instructed them not to squeeze the items, just feel them. I had my sister go around with baby wipes and a garbage bag for their hands. At the end I showed them what was inside each bag and they checked their cards.
Since those games were time consuming, we only did two.

Hunt- This wasn't really our usual hunt, but it was fun. After the games we had the kids gather around a coffee table and watch Nate and my mom dissect some squid. They were on the "hunt" for a surprise in the squid, which was the ink. My mom and Nate each had their own squid and my mom cut out the eyes, the "bone" and then the ink. She cut it open and let it ooze out. She instructed Nate the whole time on what to do. He was thrilled to use a knife for the first time, and to have such an attentive audience. It was great!

Pinata - For this we just got a plain pinata and decorated it with slime and dollar store bugs. We filled it with candy, plastic bugs and frogs, and chocolate eyes.

Food - I didn't want to go too overboard in this area because I wanted them to eat, so we had grapes, carrots, pb&j's cut into bug shapes, chips and gold fish crackers.
The cake - one of my favorite parts of the party! I used my mom's giant glass punch bowl and made a big Worms in Dirt. I bought the chocolate muffins from Costco (or you can make a chocolate cake mix according to the directions), cut them into cubes and layered them with chocolate pudding and Heath bar crumbles. Along the sides of the bowl I put gummy worms. On the top I ended with pudding and finely crushed oreos with worms sticking out. When we served it I gave them a squirt of whipped cream on the side and made sure that everyone got at least one worm. It was a hit!

I generally don't do goodie bags for parties because the kids take home their bag from the pinata and their shirt (or whatever craft they make.) I like to make them work for their goods!

Overall it was so much fun. I was so thrilled last year when I was working in my son's class (he's almost 10 now) and his friends were reminiscing about his Gross Party and how fun it was. They remembered it! Ah, it was so worth the effort!

Birthday Parties!

I love birthday parties!!! Starting with my son's first, I was hooked. When my kids were two to four that I kept the affairs small and the guest list pretty much consisted of family, but when school and activities filled our lives with more friends my whole excitement over birthday parties bloomed (to the skeptical and worried eye of my husband!)

If your child is old enough, it's important to sit down with them to discuss the theme, guest list, and food list. Letting them have input gives them satisfaction, and it's fun to share that time together. I think it can also be a great teachable moment when discussing who you are inviting and why. You can ask questions about different friends and why your child doesn't want certain kids there. It's up to you whether to invite the whole class or not. We have had parties both ways, and they both have positive and negative aspects. I also think it's important to set a budget and to discuss that with your child if they are old enough. It's very easy to get carried away for them and me!!
After a few years of trials and errors, I came to discover that there are a few can't miss items that are successes at every party:

#1 A craft upon arrival. As kids stagger in you don't have to help them all at once and it gives them something to focus on as they adjust to being there. And, whatever it is, it has time to dry.
#2 A few themed games. Three is the most kids can focus on.
#3 A treasure hunt!
#4 A pinata
#5 Food that matches the theme

I know that "goodie" bags are a big deal at parties, and I know that they are important to my kids. Even though I try to stress to them that it's not about them, it's about the birthday person, all kids have come to expect them. I don't love the idea of giving out bags of stuff - but I do like to make the kids work for them! By the end of the party the kids have enough loot from their craft to the hunt to the pinata and any prizes won. They don't leave empty handed and I use those items as the party time fillers activity rewards.

I generally start gathering prizes, items for the hunt, pinata fillers and such as soon as the theme is picked. Looking in the dollar bins at Target, the clearance aisles at discount stores or craft stores, and at the dollar stores are great places. It's important to keep track, though, if you are starting way in advance. You may end up with much more than you need and spend more than you anticipate!

Themes make the parties memorable and give you a guideline to follow. When my kids were small I tried really hard to avoid the whole "character" theme. I found it more fun to be creative with a more generic theme that didn't put me in a box to use only certain items at the party store. Some ideas are under the sea, zoo animals (or a certain favorite animal), cowboys, generic princess theme, tea party, bubbles, balls, candy land, bugs, music, etc.  If you use a more generic theme you can find items for your party at the fabric store, the dollar store, craft store... just about anywhere.

Now, if your child is really into certain characters, what can you do if they are set on it? Not much. I eventually gave in. You can still get creative with characters. I didn't love it, but it was their party after all! I will share the specifics of all our family parties in the next blog. Here are some of the parties we've had:

For Nate:
Star Wars
Gross Party
Scooby Doo
Ocean Adventure

For Zoe and Mia:
Angels
Princess
Tinker Bell
Ariel

Thy Will Be Done

As some of you know, I struggled with infertility for six long and painful years. During that time I journaled and wrote many articles for our Women's Ministries Newsletter. Here is one from August 2005.

“Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.” We all know these familiar words. Being half Greek, I remember going to weddings and baptisms and hearing these words echo off the domed walls that towered with paintings of Mary and the apostles. I’ve heard sermons on the Lord’s Prayer and have taken pages of notes. I’ve seen outdated wall hangings written in embellished script lacquered to shiny wood reminding passers by of these hallowed words. It hasn’t been until now, when I’ve desperately prayed for specific issues in my life, that these sacred words have truly come to life: thy will be done.

Vince and I have been married for five wonderful years and I desperately want a baby. (Thy will be done.) I changed my life and my schedule to adjust to when this blessing would come. (Thy will be done.) I have pleaded, I have cried, I have prayed. (Thy will be done.) Each time I have prayed, each day I have prayed, I’ve asked for God’s perfect will to be done. If God doesn’t want me to have a baby, I don’t want to force my will and overrule his divine plan for my life. However, this is quite easy to write and so hard to live by. When my cousin had her baby shower, I debated whether or not I could handle the booties, bottles and bibs which would be glaring reminders of that which I did not have. Then I heard God’s soft voice interrupt the persistent arguments and rationalizations that filled my thoughts; He said gently and unmistakably that my love for my cousin had to be stronger than my jealousy of her. Needless to say, I rejoiced with my cousin over the birth of her baby girl. God gave her one of the most beautiful gifts anyone could experience and I can’t be jealous over someone else’s blessings.

He hasn’t told me to go through the medical process of getting pregnant or adopting a child; I have to be content waiting for His timing and His answers. The answer may be "no" forever. The answer may be that something else is planned for me first. I just have to be obedient in whatever God tells me to do. God’s will is the best place to be and the only place to be; anywhere else terrifies me. When God is in control, I know the best is yet to come.

Dear Lord, let your will be done in my life. Break down my pride, break down my flesh until your will is completed in my life. Being in your will means truly being a living sacrifice. I trust that you know best. Help me to be strong when I feel so weak and my mind is so confused. Amen.

Well, I did end up having a baby in September 2010 (without medical intervention). It was the hardest journey I have ever had to travel and I have somewhat of an idea of why this road was so long; I didn't have the patience, attitude or grateful heart to be the mom that Elliana needs me to be. God's will and His timing are perfect!

Wrestling With God

I wrestled with God for about seven years. I grunted with exertion, wept in pain and tried my best at manipulation to somehow get an answer from Him. I clung to Him in fear, I yelled in frustration. I thought that the more I struggled, the closer I would be to finding the answers. I had a glimpse into what Jacob went through when he wrestled with God, but I already had His blessings; I wanted to know the answer to a question that had plagued me for years.

On a cool September evening I got into a car accident. I wasn’t wearing a seat belt and I scalped myself on the car dashboard; it peeled back like a too ripe peach. I was sitting in the back middle seat of a Ford Bronco when our driver turned back to look at the three of us joking in the passenger seats. Unfortunately, the cars in front of us stopped and we didn’t. We hit two cars from behind going 40 miles an hour. I flew like a rag doll. I didn’t realize at first what had happened. Blood was splattered across the front seat. I anxiously looked around to find who was bleeding, and then I saw the look on my friend’s face: I must have been quite a sight. I lifted my hand to touch the top of my head and all I felt was a gooey mass of flesh. The ambulance arrived shortly after and called my parents to have them meet me at the hospital.
Twenty-two staples and ten stitches later, I was released from the hospital with a massive headache. That was the easy part. The hard part came when I found myself alone with God and the staple gun that the doctor gave me as a souvenir.

I looked a mess for the week after as blood crusted my hair and I could barely move. I couldn’t wash my hair for a week because they didn’t want the wound to get wet. The smell started to get rancid and my sister and I would pick out chunks of dried blood as we watched television. I would try to comb out the crusted blood without pulling on the scar or loosening a staple. I felt like the bride of Frankenstein. Even though physically I was wretched, it was my soul that felt shattered. I was a good Christian girl. I went on seven mission trips. I went to church three times a week! Didn’t God know that I already loved Him? Didn’t He know that I was serving Him? Why would He let this happen to me?

I fumbled over these questions and begged Him for answers. I would go to church, paste on a smile, and praise him with my lips. People would come up to me and say “Put it in God’s hands. He has a purpose,” or quote Romans 8:28 (NIV) “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” My head knew these things so well. My soul wanted to cry out from pain and disbelief. I didn’t want to turn my back on Him, but I wanted to know why. How could my Father allow this?

I had to quit college and move back home to complete the healing process. All of my hopes and dreams had to be put on hold and I didn’t know if I would be able to pick up the pieces.
Shortly after I moved home, I received the news from my MRI: I had a brain tumor in my pituitary gland. The pituitary gland is the hormone center of the brain and quite a scary place to have a brain tumor (but then again, any place is scary to have a brain tumor.) I pictured all these horrid hormone changes going wrong: lactating breasts, a chest hairier than a Greek man, my voice sounding strangely like my grandfather’s… I was dreading the future and I couldn’t bear to live in the present. I wanted to escape the prison that had become my life.

People started smiling at me and said “Well, there’s God’s purpose. You wouldn’t have found your tumor if you didn’t have your car accident.” That didn’t make me feel better. There shouldn’t be a tumor there in the first place! My life had been so wonderful. It wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t realize how good I had it. Now there was this impending journey before me that I didn’t want to face; I didn’t even know if I had the strength to go on. But I did go on with my life; there was no other choice.

It’s been fourteen years now and I still don’t have any answers. I did go through several phases on this journey, though. I went through the “if I smile and pretend life is good, I’ll be okay” phase. I couldn’t keep that up for too long. Next I went through the “What did I do wrong?” phase. This one lasted about six and a half years. I searched and searched for sin in my life. Maybe I shouldn’t have been out with non-Christian friends (even though we were just going shopping). I thought I didn’t do enough work to help save the lost. I thought I missed out on His will. The list was endless. My third phase was manipulation. I created a plethora of spiritual formulas to get the answers I needed and the healing I desperately desired. Prayer plus faith equals answers. No, that didn’t work. Patience plus repentance equals answers. Okay, how about thanking God for my healing before he does it and then I’ll get the answers? These are all great things, but God doesn’t work like this. I can’t trick Him or manipulate Him to get my way. He does things in His own time.

Along this path a lot of great things have happened, too. I was determined to finish college and graduated with my degree in history and a credential in secondary education. God brought me a husband who is a nurse and helps me with my physical pain (and he’s really cute too!) I got to see my nieces enter this world and I fell head over heels in love with my nephew. I struggled six years with infertility and how have a miracle baby. If God took me to heaven early, I wouldn’t have experienced these amazing events. God spared my life so I could live through this immense joy. The love that I have far surpasses the pain that I feel each day. God spared my life that painful day because He planned an awesome future for me.

It hasn’t been easy, though. Each step along this journey and each move in this wrestling match has been painfully slow. Through my doubts, my pouting, and my games, He is still holding me close. God disabled Jacob’s hip during their wrestling match so that Jacob could no longer walk in his own strength. He had to rely entirely on God. No one comes away from wrestling with God the same. I’m realizing that to get through the pain, I have to rely solely on God. I haven’t found a medicine or treatment that can take away my physical pain, but I know God will not let me face this journey alone. He is there for every time I cry in frustration in my bed at night. He is there when I yell in anger at Him because I face this gnawing pain without relief. He is there for me.

I still want to know why this happened and maybe I’ll never know. My head has healed, but I still experience pain daily and there is a scar. My soul has healed, but I still experience pain and there is a scar. The good part is that my scars are beautiful. They are a reminder of God’s faithfulness.

Child of God

I’m not one to gush. I thought babies were cute… from a distance (and the farther the better.) I thought cartoons were mind numbing. Kid songs were the ultimate punishment. Then my sister had three kids. I gushed. I memorized the television schedule on the Disney Channel and Nick Jr. I danced to kid music like I had never danced before. A sickening and beautiful transformation took place in me and through that experience, God has opened my eyes.

When I looked at those amazing people who walked like they had a pillow between their legs, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with joy. When they first learned to walk, I wanted to share their tentative steps with the world like they were the first children to make these colossal strides. Their giggles and yelps of delight were (and are) the most musical and carefree sounds. And that’s how God thinks of you and me.

I’ve heard probably a million times that I am a child of God; that God is a loving father. To any Christian this common knowledge is just like knowing that gravity exists or that water is made up of H20. Sometimes when we look at the most common, basic things, it’s there that we find the most amazing.

When I take my first steps at a new job, God is cheering me on. When I get a part in the church play, God is the proud father in the audience who whispers “That’s my kid.” When I stumble and scrape my ego, He picks me up, brushes off the shame, and holds my hand as we continue the journey.

Being a child of God, I am also realizing that it’s not just one sided; as a child of the Master, I have some serious obligations, too. When a baby says “dada” we ooh and aah. If a normal, healthy teenager said it, it would be pathetic. The same thing goes with our spiritual life. When we are baby Christians, it’s okay to crawl through the Word of God and stumble through our prayers. As we grow and spend time with God, we have to act like a mature Christian. As our father, God doesn’t want to spoon feed us forever.

As I continue in life, I also notice a change in the relationship between myself and my parents. Before I depended on them to change my diaper, get me the things I wanted, and I would get mad when I didn’t get my way. Now our relationship has taken on an amazing turn; my parents are now my friends. I am not just taking and wanting, I am also giving back. I think as a Christian, it is much the same way with God. As I grow in my faith and love for Him, its not about “give me this” or “I want that.” It’s becoming “What can I do for you, God?” “Where do you want me to go?” God has become my friend and my confidant and not the spiritual slot machine that so many make Him out to be. I want God to know that He can count on me and that I will be faithful.

Watching the kids around me (and now my own sweet daughter), I am also learning again what it is like to remain a child in the important ways. I used to cut and tape pictures to make books of my nephew’s favorite things in life: food, toys, and characters that I found in the Sunday advertising section of the newspaper. He would take it everywhere with him. God makes us sunsets and mountains out of his immense color pallet. He created birds to serenade us with unique melodies. The ocean roars to show us His power. The breeze dances to show us his tenderness. God creates gorgeous miracles daily for our enjoyment, and as I get older, sometimes I forget to see with child-like awe. Do you remember the first time you went to the zoo or aquarium? How could there be so many different animals? Being children of God means that our daddy made all of this for us, His children. Sometimes I forget to look. I see, but I don’t always look.

Another thing about being a child of God is that I inherit some of his qualities. I am made in his glorious image. He gave me a heart to love and feel and to share. He gave me a mind to ponder, to learn and to grow. He gave me hands to create, to lift up, to offer. He gave me so much, all I can do is give it back to Him.

Book Review - Anonymous by Alicia Britt-Chole

A few years ago at a women's retreat I was amazed and enlightened by the speaker, Alicia Britt-Chole. She opened my eyes to a concept that I never considered before. Now, several years later I can still remember her words and I share them with others. In a society where it's important to be known and in the "spotlight", she shows that those times when we are anonymous are some of the most important times of our lives.

Jesus' first three decades of life were mostly hidden. However, with his life (and with ours), it is critical that we not mistake unseen for unimportant. Hidden years are unapplauded but not unproductive. They are sacred spaces, to be rested in not rushed through and most definitely never to be regretted.


In this personal, reflective book, Alicia helps us recognize the riches that God grows in us during uncelebrated seasons of our lives. Here is a bit from the first chapter that I hope touches you as it does me:

1 the iceberg equation

Have you ever felt hidden? Have you ever moved to a new place or entered a new environment where no one knew who you were, what you could do, or what dreams ignited your soul? Have you ever crossed the threshold into another season of life, like parenthood or extended studies, where you shifted from recognition to anonymity, from the court to the bench, from standing as a leader to sitting as a learner again? Have you ever resigned or retired from a position or title and transitioned from being sought out to left out, consulted to unconsidered, celebrated to celebrating others?

In these hidden seasons, we are more familiar with being invisible than acclaimed. Concealed for months or years or decades, our potential seems to hibernate like a bear in winter, and over time we begin to wonder if spring will ever awaken it again.

Hidden hopes. Hidden dreams. Hidden gifts. All of us are acquainted with chapters in life when our visible fruitfulness is pruned back, our previously praiseworthy strengths become dormant, and our abilities are unnoticed by the watching world.

Like a flower whose budding glory is covered up by wet leaves, we sense the weight of hidden-ness in our hearts and whisper, “I have so much more to give and be.”

But there is One who can see the beauty of that covered, smothered flower: God himself. And, mysteriously, his delight in that beauty is not diminished by its leafy camouflage. Neither would his pleasure be amplified by the flower’s visibility. Good news indeed for the hidden.

In fact, obedience to this God who appreciates the visible and invisible equally has led many truly great souls into long seasons of anonymity. Some emerged from obscurity into eminence. Others remained relatively unknown. All agreed that God never wastes anyone’s time.

Whether we enter hidden-ness deliberately (as in pursuing an education or relocating with a new job) or unwillingly (as in an extended illness or in grief following the loss of a loved one), we can spend years feeling that the greatest part of us is submerged in the unseen, as though others can only see the tip of the iceberg of who we really are.

Through chattering teeth, arctic scientists inform us that only one-eighth to one-tenth of an iceberg is visible. As much as 90% is submerged in the unseen. Because of their enormous mass, with that proportion, icebergs are virtually indestructible.

10% visible + 90% unseen = an indestructible life. The most influential life in all of history reflected the iceberg equation. Ninety percent of his life on earth was spent in obscurity. Ten percent of his earthly life was spent in the public eye.

And all of his life was, and still is, absolutely indestructible.

Marvelous Meals with Pre-Cooked Chicken!

Marvelous Meals with Pre-Cooked Chicken!


I love chicken! It’s versatile, easy to prepare, economical, healthy, and my kids will eat it. But, if you are like me, chicken can get boring and it’s easy to fall into a rut of the same old things. I know there are recipes that our families love, but if you prepare them too often it can backfire and then those recipes are banished for a long time. I know this from my early married days and the now banished Cream of Mushroom Soup…

My favorite shortcut right now is roasting 4-6 chicken breasts to use throughout the week. You can put them in a crock pot with only salt and pepper for a few hours (longer will dry them out), or place them in a 350 degree oven for about 30-40 minutes with S&P and a little olive oil. I do this on a Sunday or Monday afternoon my cooking for the week is half done. These breasts (either boneless, skinless or not) can be used for many combinations of dinners. Here are my favorite uses:

• Add salsa for burritos or chicken quesadillas, chicken enchiladas

• Bar-b-que sauce (especially for the crock pot chicken) for pulled sandwiches

• Corn and chicken chowder, tortilla soup, or chicken minestrone

• Chicken and dumplings

• Slice and serve over pasta with Pesto or Marinara (melt a little cheese on it for Chicken Parmesan)

• Chicken Pot Pie with store bought crust, frozen or fresh veggies, cream of celery soup & milk

• Brush with teriyaki and reheat, sprinkle with sesame seeds, serve over rice

• Chicken fried rice

• Chicken Lettuce wraps – Bibb, red leaf, ice-burg or romaine lettuce with julienned carrots, green onions, and roasted peanuts. I serve it with two sauces – one teriyaki + water + garlic chili paste, the other peanut butter + hot water + garlic & ginger powder + soy sauce + garlic chili paste + honey

• Any type of salad topped with chicken – Cobb, Taco, Caesar, Chinese Chicken, etc.

• Chicken Panini’s – add cheeses, basil, sun dried tomatoes, ham, etc. Use a George Forman grill or just bake in the oven

• Chicken Pizzas made from store bought crusts and either bar-b-que sauce or any white sauce, cheese, bacon, green onions, tomatoes

• Empanada –season chopped chicken with a little cumin, coriander, sautéed onions & garlic, wrap in store bought pizza dough and bake

• Broil with ham and provolone on top for Chicken Cordon Bleu

• Casserole (oh how I wish I could make this, if not for the Cream of Mushroom Soup!) – Make your favorite tuna casserole and replace the tuna with chicken. Or, use any of your favorite casserole recipes and use chicken as the main meat.

Of course, rotisserie chickens are cheap and delicious to use in any of these recipes. I like to get them at Costco or Sam’s Club, and right now I am walking the fine line of over-use of serving them “as is”. I still like them, but I admit that they are better doctored up these days.

I have more specific recipes for anything mentioned above if you need them.

Please add any more ideas that you have to expand all of our repertoires of chicken!!

Marvelous Meals on the Go!

Marvelous Meals on the Go!


Are your kids in sports or other activities that happen during or near dinner time? I found my family in this situation this past little league season. Occasionally we picked up food on the way or (gulp) even ate at the snack bar, but we all know that this isn’t the healthiest or cheapest way to feed a family. I came up with meals that traveled well and were easy to prepare. Hopefully you can adapt some of these ideas for your family, too, even if it’s for an easy night at home!

My first discovery was a widened use of the Crock Pot. Throw in some bone-in, skin on chicken breasts with a jar of green salsa for 3-4 hours on low… chicken burrito filling. Make enough so that a few nights later you can use the filling for chicken enchiladas or tortilla soup. Or, add a roast beef cut or pot roast with a jar of any red salsa and you have beef burritos. Wrap the meat fillings with refried beans in foil and you’re good to go.

Next we ate fancier sandwiches than we ate for lunch. I copied salads and sandwiches that I had at restaurants. Chicken Caesar (grilled chicken with a Caesar salad on top on a French roll), Turkey Cobb with bacon and blue cheese (not on all my kids’!), French dip with little cups of beef broth enriched with a little garlic powder and sherry cooking wine, steak with grilled onions. Luncheon meats work great for the French dip roast beef, turkey cobb, and ham Panini’s. (Panini’s are great in the George Foreman grill.) In this sandwich category you can also include wraps. Take a large tortilla and add cream cheese, any meat, any vegetables. You can drizzle with different salad dressings for varying effects. Use chicken and coslaw mix and add a little sesame ginger dressing for asian, cilantro dressing for southwestern, or Italian dressing for an antipasto wrap.

After weeks of the above meals, I did sometimes just package up regular meals and it turned out great. I had a plastic container for each family member and added a base of rice or potatoes and added meat and a veggie for a “bowl”-type meal. The kids loved eating this way because it was different than how we normally ate the same ingredients at home.

It’s important that you have a couple of small ice chests that you can throw over your shoulder. One is for cold things like water bottles, fruit, and veggies. The other you can make cold for sandwiches are salads or hot with a heat pack for hot items. It is essential to have plenty of napkins and utensils and a bag for garbage.

Let me know if you have more ideas to share about eating on the go!!